*Spoilers* There are some spoilers about the content of Arslan Senki, Death Note, Fate/Zero, and Fate/Stay Night. Also, please pardon my bad image editing skills for the cover pic. I don’t do this stuff. *Spoilers*
So, alrighty then. In case you haven’t heard, because your parents have been protecting you from the truth or you’ve been living in a cave since time immemorial, the 2016 United States Presidential Elections are up and running. One name has been the spotlight of popular news outlets, that name being Donald Trump. Trump has been known for being a bit of a… maverick, let’s say, with his catchy “You’re fired!”, or his Miss America Pageant. However, Trump has now taken center stage with his rather inflammatory remarks about… just about everyone. And so, I’ve taken this golden opportunity to present my top 5 characters that remind me of Donald Trump. Enjoy.
Note: This is going to be the worst list I’ve ever made. Pretty much all of the characters here are just vehicles by which I may launch some stupid joke at the CANDIDATE FOR LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD?! Seriously, what did we screw up to have this be a thing? Suddenly, the democratic process seems to be working, just in time to allow some fruitcake to run. And he’s not doing that bad in the polls? Just goes to show that desperate people will grab at any straw (or apparently a straw hat, since that’s what Trump seems to wear on his head all the time).
Another note: This list is in no particular order.
#5: Innocentis VII
Innocentis is the monarch of Lusitania, the antagonistic group in the series, and arrives at the end of the Lusitanian invasion of Pars to survey the work his people have done, and bask in the successful conquering. Oh, and here’s a hint if you haven’t gotten it by now. The US is Lusitania. Conquering other people in order to plunder while justifying it with mumbo-jumbo is kinda their thing. The only difference is that the Lusitanians don’t even bother to apologize insincerely afterwards. Also, here’s another hint. The RMS Lusitania was a famous naval vessel that sunk under tragic circumstances. So basically, my comparison is a rather obvious statement that if Donald Trump is given the reins to America, the result is clear. Bombs away!!
A note: Because this might come up, I’m addressing it here and now. These are my thoughts regarding American foreign policy of sending troops: I do not blame the troops. They joined the military with the goal of protecting the interests of the country and it’s people. Their intentions are simply to keep their home safe (at least most of them think that way, the one’s I know do). The one’s I blame are the leaders who tell the soldiers lies. “If you attack here and bomb here, America will be safe.” The real controllers of government, corporations, also influence foreign policy. The special interest groups that lobby for and against political decisions control how the pendulum swings. The soldiers are merely following orders, orders that could get them killed or worse, compromise the values that they thought they were standing up for. I pity and respect both the veterans and the serviceman who are in the military, because they continue to make the sacrifices that we as a society have collectively decided they should make. I mean, what do I do? I just make dumb wise-cracks on the internet. I don’t have the courage to stand up for something, or put my life on the line. This is all I am. Thanks soldiers, and screw you corporations.
That’s my PSA for the day. Thank you. We now return you to your regular programming.
#4: Gendou Ikari
A dude who thinks he possesses knowledge that no one else is deserving of and who thinks that illegal aliens that are attempting to invade his country are the worst thing ever?
Yeah, of course I went for the bad joke. I wouldn’t be keeping it 100 if I didn’t. What a lame entry.
#3: Koujirou Sasahara
The only thing dumber than riding to school on a goat and thinking you’re majestic is arriving to your presidential candidacy announcement speech by gliding in on an escalator.
Both of these guys think they are endowed with an immunity to all things “commoner”. Sadly, Trump doesn’t have Sasahara’s suave. He also doesn’t have a goat. No goat, no life.
Also, can you imagine Ivanka Trump pulling out heavy artillery, crying “Baka!!” and firing at Papa? Man, now that’s a campaign ad if I ever saw one.
#2: Light Yagami
Both of these guys could’ve been successful if the position of ultimate power wasn’t available to them. If they had just stayed the course, they wouldn’t have collapsed completely under the weight of their own hubrus. Both seem completely content while hoisting themselves upon their own petard. Well, I hope Trump has the same reaction to losing the Presidential race that Light had at the last episode. I’m not going to spoil it, just go look it up yourself if really want to know.
Both are responsible for things getting more and more screwed up. Gilgamesh seducing Kirei is basically the single event that causes the show to follow the course it does and it’s what allows Fate/Stay Night to happen. Trump is a terrific example of a rich guy who presents himself in such a way that it appears he is oblivious of his own negative impact on everything, from the environment to the economy. Both seem to remain either happily oblivious or just plain happy, with regards to how their actions affect those around them. Both sit above, and on top of, everyone else looking down at their predicament, sighing and complaining that they have to come down to their level in order to converse with them.
Both are complete douchebags as far as I’m concerned. At least Gilgamesh doesn’t actually exist. Unless… dum, dum, dum!! Trump is Gilgamesh!! Popculturemecha has scooped again!
Thanks for reading my clearly biased drivel, and I hope you enjoyed at least one of the stupid jokes presented here. If you have any thoughts of your own, please put them in the comments below. Thanks again, and have a great day!